unknown stressor

I definitely need someone to talk to.

Hello blog, i'm depressed. I spent the last x hours bawling over stuff, and when dad came in with the result, wtf, more reasons to cry. How could I not have seen it? It was in my face all along. I should have known about this, there were signs. I guess I was in denial (as I still am), that my platelet will stay like this. Tapering = lower platelet, and at the rate this is going, 0mg steroid = 60k platelet if stable. Not good. Petichae now forming at 80k count for no reason (stress, yes i know i'm super stressed. but WTF is stressing me out?), and i'm on 20mg starting today. Relapse again? No idea. Doctor told me she has another chronic case, and the platelet is like this. "But she's doing okay", she assures. Well, it's not okay, not now anyway. I will still have to accept the fact that a 60 count is not a "climbable" count. So here's the turning point to my climbing life, that is, if I can resist temptation.


Oh well, at least I can still go out in the sun.


Is it time to trade the rock shoes for lens? Abangan.