the bitchslap

How to make a Blog Post without sounding like a total bitch:

1.Omit all profanity.

Not saying Shut the **** up kind of omitting, but saying something like Close your piehole, *****. Okay, that wasn't even close. More like Keep your mouth closed, please. :) That's more appropriate.

2.Never EVER admit to doing anything that is not within the bounds of normalcy.

The party was so awesome, and I was so drunk I passed out last night. - To a more discreet The fun was had.

3.Don't be over-emotional.

He broke my heart, it hurts so bad and i'll never be able to patch it up again. He is such a lying a**h***! I wish he gets struck by lightning! - To something like I'll leave it to karma to make him suffer, after all, he did bring me pain.

4.Don't make people look bad.

She's a total whore. You seriously want to go out with her? You must be an sh*thead. -To a mere I do not approve of what you intend to do.

5.Don't blog at all.

If you do all of these, you won't be able to remember how you felt the way you did the day you wrote the blog post. If you made a blog so you could look at it in a few years and laugh at yourself for being such an idiot, don't follow the rules. Be a bitch, for your sake. Who did you make this blog for anyway?

----

Well, I didn't exactly pass out last night, not even close. Party was fun, but three cases of grande was not enough for us, there were 15 of us for crying out loud. The mixed drinks didn't help either. Of course we wanted to go out to have some more! But we were a little tired so, we called it a night/day.


---------------------#$(&@#*$ edit. Someone ELSE might read the blog. deleted paragraph. i'm screwed, oh well.

Didn't help my colds though, oh well. I'll be good this week.

I walked half the campus alone tonight, at around 9, listening to my newly downloaded album. I was happy with the breeze, the throbbing headphones in my ears, the almost pitch-black grounds of the SU campus, and the blank static feeling that there's nobody around. It is definitely something to be missed. I knew these paths only so well I could walk around with my eyes closed.

I want a dog, and I have offers. Pitbull or American Bulldog?