Familiar shores

I am starting to feel the all-too-familiar pangs of drug recognition. My body slowly succumbs to my medication, and I am left powerless, grasping for control of my own mind. It's a slow and steady decay from here. I know I might have to stay on it for another couple of months, and I am not looking forward to this at all. The headaches have started, and the anticipation of sudden stomach pain gets me writhing at every moment of unease. Insomnia is the least of my problems, apparently, as I start to battle with my will to control mania, bouts of compulsive behavior, and obsessive thinking, that is, to state the least morbid things.

This sounds so pathetic coming from me, since I usually have precise control over everything. Maybe that's why this is all so infuriating.

Maybe my apparent control is just an effort to mask what I cannot.

Before I start complaining and bargaining for something I have no right to bargain with, I will cut this short.

And apparently, the depressive episodes due to the drugs are starting already. I better watch out. I'm trying to keep a positive vibe-thing going on, and being unable to control my thoughts due to physiological mechanisms is very frustrating.